Nicole Calasich is a Bolivian-American comedian and producer from SF who has literally never bombed.* Her jokes have been on Comedy Central, her face on ABC for Iliza’s “Forever 31.” Her humor is big words smartcool and her incisive audience rapport is the dumbest. You may have seen her open for the utterly fantastic Dan Cummins, Adam Newman, Ali Wong, or featuring for Iliza Shlesinger, but she is most likely to be seen offering gifts to the great and powerful Xenu.

*she’s been known to lie in bios.